To Heal the Heartbreak
by PsychicOtaku182
Summary: After a fight with Yuki, LIn goes to retrieve some of his things from her apartment. But Lin wasn't expecting Yuki to be there, and he certainly didn't forsee her condition. Can he save her? Or will he lose her forever? One-shot. M for self hurt.


As promised, the betaed version.

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It had been two months since the argument and Lin had realized that certain things that belonged to him were still at Yuki's apartment

It had been two months since the argument and Lin had realized that certain things that belonged to him were still at Yuki's apartment. Thankfully, he still had the key that Yuki had had made for him. He figured it would be safe for him to go and pick up his stuff if he went around 2 PM. After all, Yuki was _supposed _to be at work at that time.

He was sadly mistaken.

First thing he noticed when he entered the apartment was the shattered mirror above the table in the entrance hall. Little slivers of the reflective glass trailed down the hallway. Dried blood marred the remaining pieces of the mirror that clung on the frame desperately.

As he continued warily into the apartment, the strong smell of whiskey hit him, causing him to feel sick. The hallway ended, revealing the normally clean living room, now a storm of papers and glass bottles and empty glasses, some of which lay on the floor, shattered into pieces.

He peeked into the kitchen, afraid of what he might see. Instead of a bloody scene of terror, more bottles and glasses were strewn across the counters. He checked the refrigerator to find rotting foods stuffed on every shelf. He began to worry. A small noise caused his head to jerk back towards the living room.

"Yuki?" Lin called, picking his way through the catastrophic mess to the light of Yuki's laptop. The noise had simply been it logging off by itself. However, the light illuminated her still form, which lay sprawled on the floor, halfway in her bedroom.

"Yuki!" Lin-san bent down to examine her when his hand came in contact with an envelope that had his name inscribed in Yuki's hurried scrawl in contrast to her usual elegant penmanship.

'_I really shouldn't…' _Lin thought, glancing back at the unconscious form of Yuki.

Sighing, he opened the envelope carefully and pulled out the letter.

_**Dear Lin,**_

_**I miss you. I suppose I was never any good at telling you how much I care about you. I had thought that everything between us was fine, but perhaps I was complacent. Perhaps I missed the signs of us falling apart.**_

_**That doesn't mean that I don't miss you. I miss everything about you. I miss your scent, your voice, even your unforgiving glances. I miss the way you would sneak up behind me and pull me into a hug. I even miss your stupid three-piece suits.**_

_**I used to think that everything was okay, though I suppose that was just arrogance on my part. There are so many happy memories, but they may belong only to me. I wonder if you have any happy memories of us.**_

_**I saw you just the other day in the park. You were with a woman; I guess you've already moved on. It hurt though. I want you to be happy, but when you kissed her my heart broke. I felt it shatter.**_

_**From the look on your face, I wonder if you felt it, too, but I'm sure you didn't.**_

_**We were happy together and I will always remember that. Please be happy.**_

_**I love you**_

_**Yuki**_

The tear-stained letter fell to the floor as he looked at Yuki helplessly and as he did so, noticed the bandages wrapped around her emaciated arms, stained a coppery color with her dried blood.

"Oh, Yuki, what have you done?" he whispered, lightly touching her arm. As he did so, Yuki groaned and looked up at Lin blearily.

"Lin…"she said in a raspy voice.

Suddenly, anger welled up inside of him.

"How could you do something so stupid, Yuki?" he yelled, pointing towards her stained bandages. "Why would you do this?"

As he yelled, Yuki curled into a ball, trying to block it out, forgetting the broken piece of mirror in her hand.

"Ow!" she jerked up right as the sharp glass cut through the soft skin of her wrist. Blood started to spurt from her wound. Lin looked horrified before yanking off his tie to create a tourniquet.

"Why are you doing this, Lin?" Yuki stammered, her breath smelling strongly of whiskey. "Wh-why are you e-even here?"

Lin didn't respond, focusing on knotting the tie around her wrist so it wouldn't come loose.

"Lin, answer…hey, st-stop!" Yuki clung onto Lin as he picked her up and headed towards the front door.

"Just hold still and let me get you to the hospital, will you?" he growled, kicking the slightly open front door so as to allow them passage. Lin turned towards the stairs, hesitated, and abruptly turned towards the elevator, which luckily had just opened up as Yuki's ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend walked out in her designer clothes.

"Well, looks like the little bitch finally decided to kick it, huh?" she simpered. "I didn't even get the chance to gloat." She paused as she looked Lin over.

"Hello, handsome, who are you and why are you wasting your time with _her?_" She sneered, causing Lin to do a double take when he remembered that this woman used to be a friend of Yuki's.

"I'm taking her to a hospital so she won't 'kick it'. Now, if you'd be so kind as to move, I'm in a bit of a hurry." If the tone in his voice were not enough to make the woman move, the glare he sent her most certainly was, as she quickly moved out of the way. He pressed the button for the first floor of the garage and tightened grip on Yuki subconsciously.

'_What has she been doing to herself? She's so thin, nothing but skin and bones. God, what has happened to her? Is this happening because she just doesn't care anymore? Yuki, why didn't you just tell me? Why?' _Lin thought as he tapped his foot, impatient for the doors to open.

What seemed like an eternity later the elevator doors finally opened and Lin all but ran to his car, clutching his precious burden close as he prayed. Yuki groaned slightly. Why was he doing this? Didn't he know that without him, she had nothing?

Lin placed her gently in the passenger side of his car, before rushing around to the other side and getting in.

"Why are you doing this?" Yuki wasn't stammering like before, but her voice was soft and cracked when she spoke. She fiddled with the knot the tie was in, tugging slightly at the ends.

"Don't you dare untie that knot, do you understand me?" Lin asked, as he inserted the key into the ignition.

"Why? Why, Lin, why shouldn't I?" Yuki cried, tears welling up in her eyes, which were already red. "Why shouldn't I just let myself die?"

"Don't talk like that!" Lin shouted, putting the car back in park before pressing his lips against Yuki's, who returned the kiss as though she were a drowning sailor and his kisses were air. "We obviously need to talk." He said, breaking the kiss and driving the car out of the parking space. "If you honestly think that I'm just going to let you die. How much whiskey have you had?"

"I really don't know." She said. "I lost count after the first few days of drinking."

Lin shook his head and pressed the gas pedal as far as he dared, and cursed the fact that Yuki lived so far from the hospital. He glanced over at her and felt his heart plummet. Her skin, which was pale when she was healthy, was nearly translucent in appearance. Her brown hair was stringy and looked as though it hadn't been brushed in several days at the very least.

'_She's fallen apart. Yuki, oh Yuki, what have I done?'_ Lin felt as though his heart was being ripped out, not to unlike the feeling he had had a few days ago when he was in the park with his cousin.

'_Of course! From the wrong viewpoint, it would have looked as though we were kissing. Yuki must have been there and saw my cousin and I when we were out, and when I lent down so that she could give me a kiss on the cheek, from her vantage point, it would have looked as though I kissed her.' _

Lin pulled in front of the hospital and gently pulled Yuki out before heading inside, moving as fast as he could.

"Excuse me sir, but…" Lin interrupted the small woman behind the desk.

"My girlfriend is hurt. She accidentally cut her wrist with a piece of mirror." The woman started, but before she could call for any one, a rolling bed was pushed up beside him.

"Put her on here, and then go take care of your car." The youth pushing the bed said. "I'll take her into see a surgeon. You can wait in waiting room 2C, okay?"

"Yes, that's fine." Lin said, laying Yuki gently on the bed. He kissed her forehead gently. "I love you, Tara Smith." He whispered in her ear before she was rolled away from him.

"Um, sir, you need to move your car." The woman behind the desk said to Lin, who was looking down the hallway that Yuki had been rushed down. He nodded a lost expression on his face, before going to move his car.

'Poor guy, he looks like he'll die without her.' The woman thought before going back to her work.

When Lin re-entered, he filled out some paper work, and then went to waiting room 2C. He paced around the room. The door opened and Lin spun, hoping to see the doctor. Instead, Mai and everyone from SPR were there.

"Is she okay?" Mai asked, although from the icy tone of her voice Lin knew that even if she lived, Yuki wasn't okay, and probably hadn't been for a long time. At the moment though, Lin didn't trust himself to answer her. Instead he swallowed hard and shrugged, fighting the urge to either break down and cry, or run out and beg to be allowed to see Yuki.

Mai didn't like his answer, but she wouldn't have liked any answer that he could give her. Mai motioned towards the door. "Can I have a word?"

Once outside the door Mai turned sharply and glared at Lin.

"I blame you." Her voice was harsh. She then walked back into the waiting room, leaving Lin standing there, feeling even worse than he had before. For Mai to say something like that, well, he didn't want to think about how bad things really were. Deep inside his mind, two images were contrasted. One was the last time he had seen Yuki's smile, the other was the broken look she had when she asked him why she shouldn't die.

"Oh, God! What have I done?" He choked out, burying his face in his hands as he slid down the wall. Lin had once promised Yuki that if they argued and it was his fault, he would apologize. He had broken that promise when he waited for her to apologize those first two weeks. Two weeks. It had been almost two months since the argument. He hadn't been able to work up the courage, afraid that she had already moved on. Now look at what it could cost him.

If Yuki died…he couldn't bear to think about it. She had to live so he could at least try to make things right. Right?

"Lin Koujo?" Lin's head jerked upright as a deep voice called his name.

"Yes?" He stood up quickly to face the doctor.

"Smith-san is recovering now and should be waking up soon. She won't be allowed to leave the hospital for a week or two due to possible complications that her present condition may create."

"Condition?" Although Lin had seen that Yuki was dangerously thin, he wasn't sure if there was anything else physically wrong with her.

"Yes. It's nothing that can't be treated. She has a mild stomach ulcer and is only 95lbs so we'll need to keep an eye on her. Treat the ulcer and make sure she gets back to a healthy weight. There's also the matter of a minor case of exhaustion that needs to be taken care of. Is she allergic to any medications?" The man pushed a pair of glasses back up his nose.

"Uh, no. Not that she's ever mentioned. I know she doesn't like taking medication. She even got a degree in holistic healing just so she could avoid it, but she's said that as far as she knows she's not allergic to anything."

"Well, on the subject of holistic healing, I think we can accommodate her on that. Anyway, if you'd like to go see her, she's in room 209."

"Yes, thank you. Um, we have some friends in the waiting room; do you think that you could tell them?" Lin asked, looking back towards the door of the waiting room, knowing good and well that Mai would forgive him only if Yuki recovered.

"Yes, I believe that I can do that."

"Thank you." Lin walked quickly down the hall. Room 205, 206, 207,208, ah! 209! He swallowed hard before pulling the door open.

The room was the same as every other room in the hospital and the sound of the heart monitor beeping assured Lin that Yuki really was all right. Something that looking at her couldn't do.

She looked so tiny and so frail just lying there, inert save for the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. She was so small that her feet didn't even come to the end of the bed and the hospital gown they had given her nearly swallowed her whole.

A few of the nurses had washed and combed her hair out, and it spread out on the pillow like chocolate colored silk. She was completely clean and the stained bandages on her arms had been changed for fresh ones.

Lin realized that he was still standing in the doorway and had been for almost a minute, before moving quietly into the room. He wanted to sit in the chair next to the bed but as the person who had caused her so much pain, he didn't feel he had the right any more. Instead, he stayed standing. Despite feeling as though he had no right to even be there, after all that he had said to her, he found himself holding her pale hand. The chill of it frightened him, causing him to look up at the monitor to make sure she was really alive.

He started slightly when her fingers tightened slightly around his own. Her brown eyes fluttered open and slowly came into focus. She stared at him, and he at her, until finally, he bent down and kissed her.

At first, she just laid there, trying to determine if she was still dreaming, but when he started to pull away the hand that didn't have any needles in it grabbed his shirt firmly, keeping him close to her.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, kissing her again. "I'm so sorry. I promised that I would apologize and then I never did. I'm sorry. You have every right to hate me, just please," He kissed her again; more passionately this time "please get better. Please, don't do this to yourself." She returned his kisses franticly, as though he would be torn away from her at any second.

"Please don't leave me." He almost didn't hear her whispered plea, but it nearly killed him to hear that lost sound in her voice. He cradled her gently in his arms against his chest.

"I'm not going anywhere. Not now. Not now that I know that I almost lost you because of my stupidity. Now you have to promise me that you won't go anywhere. Not for a very long time, do you understand me? You're not allowed to do this ever again, okay?" He marveled slightly at the strength that was in her emaciated body as she clung to him. He held her as close as he dared.

"I understand." Came her weak reply as she began to lose the battle to stay awake.

"Go to sleep, Yuki. Even if I'm not right beside you when you wake up, I'll still be nearby."

"Promise?" She all but begged sleepily.

"I promise." He said, kissing her forehead before gently laying her back down. Her eyes slid closed gently and her breathing deepened as dreamless sleep took over her. Lin fell into the chair and sat there, just watching her sleep, comforting himself in the sight of the rise and fall of her chest and the sound of the monitor.

When Mai and the others entered, Yuki was still sleeping soundly. Although the others missed it, Lin saw the glare Mai shot at him as she settled down in the chair on the other side of the bed. Lin was somewhat frightened when the others left, leaving the three of them alone and with Yuki still sleeping.

He didn't need to worry much, for although Mai was furious with him for the anguish that his stupidity had caused for Yuki, she was also well aware of what had stopped him from calling her.

"It was a useless worry, you know? Yuki loves you and wouldn't move on in two or three weeks. Heck, she hasn't even moved on in two months!" The irritation in her voice hid the worry she secretly held, that despite all this, Lin still might not understand.

"I know that now, and I won't make this mistake ever again. She woke up earlier, before you came in. We've started to work things out, starting with a promise that even if I'm not right next to her when she wakes up, I'll still be nearby. I really don't plan on leaving the hospital until I know for a fact that she'll be all right. Or, at least until they move her out of the ICU and even then, I'll be here as long as they'll allow it." He took her hand in his and gave it a slight squeeze, which she unconsciously returned.

"That's good. I'll probably go home so that I can bring some of her things here tomorrow, you know. I also need to clean up her apartment some so that it's clean when they release her." Mai sighed in relief, everything was going to be fine with those two, and as angry as she was with Lin, she was glad they were back together. Lin had never intended for Yuki to get hurt and he couldn't have known what she'd do.

"Thank you." Lin turned all his attention back to Yuki as Mai slipped out the door to go home.

Yuki slept for two more days, and during that time Lin rarely left her side and never for more than a few minutes.

"Mmm." Lin jerked from his light sleep as thin fingers ran gently through his black hair. He looked up sleepily at Yuki who smiled at him.

"Hello." Her voice was soft.

"Hello to you too, beautiful." He said, kissing her pale hand. Yuki giggled softly the way she always did when he said things like that and for once, it bothered him. "Why do you always laugh when I say something along those lines?"

"Because, it's cute." She smiled slightly and Lin found himself returning her smile.

"Mm. No other reason?" He pressed slightly, before kissing the top of her head lightly.

"No. No other reason." She paused "I'm sorry if I scared you the other day." Lin watched as she plucked at the hem of the hospital blanket.

"Just don't do anything like that ever again and you will have more than made up for the near heart attack that you gave me." He said, taking her hands and wrapping her arms around his neck before wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head on her shoulder. "I love you, and if any one should be apologizing, it should be me. After all, it was my fault." He kissed her ear, causing her to giggle and squirm in his arms.

"I love you too. So, does this mean things we're back together?" She asked, looking up at him, like a puppy begging.

"Yes. Oh, by the way, the woman you saw me with at the park? That was my cousin, and she kissed _**me**_ _on the cheek_, not the other way around." Yuki smiled and kissed him.

"I guess that's acceptable." She said, pouting playfully. Lin laughed.

"Are you jealous?" He asked.

"Of what?" She asked, raising her eyebrow aristocratically. He laughed again and captured her lips in a kiss that he knew would keep them both wanting more, something more that the ring in his pocket hoped to grant.

"Marry me?" He whispered in her ear, sliding the simple gold engagement ring onto her finger.

"Absolutely." She whispered back, kissing him again, secure in the knowledge that they had made it. Two years, with only one real argument, and that everything was the way it should be.


End file.
